Baby Fat
by Neon Rouge
Summary: Sasuke leaves for a four-month mission and returns to a pregnant Sakura once it has been succesfully completed. The Rookie 9 are growing up, with bumps along the way... What will result of this catastrophic misshap? - SasuSaku, crack oneshot.


_**A/N: **According to my poll, this should be the first oneshot up, it's quite funny if I do say so myself and I hope to god that you people will like it and review._

_**Dedication: **Ish (yet again your name has tainted my holy fics, you shoudl be ashamed of yourslef!) because she reviews like, everything. So yeah, arigatou to you._

_**Disclaimer: **None as yet._

_**Prompt:** The Rookie Nine are growing up, with bumps along the way..._

* * *

Sasuke let out a tired sigh, removing his ANBU mask and running a pale hand through his inky locks as he approached the village gates, his fellow ANBU members in tow.

"Oi, Sasuke!" Sasuke turned to look at the source of the voice; he kept his face expressionless when he noticed that the sixth Hokage was the person who had yelled.

But then again, who else could emit shouts with such a high decibel count?

"That was uncalled for, Naruto." Sasuke said flippantly in his usual monotone, aiming a glare at his best friend.

"Never mind that," Naruto said with a cheesy grin splitting across his tanned face, "Sakura-chan has some really important news for you!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at this as he dismissed his team; making a mental note to hand in his report later; preferably after he had heard out Sakura on her 'important news.' He proceeded to leave his best friend alone with the five other ANBU members that comprised his team as he left for his home, the Uchiha compound, intent on getting some sleep after his tiring four-month mission.

* * *

It was a known fact that Uchiha Sasuke never knew what to expect, this was proven quite frequently.

And it just so happened to be proven again when he entered his home, heading straight for the kitchen; the source of his wife's humming as she made breakfast for them both to welcome him back.

"Ah," Sakura's head turned towards her husband at the sound of him entering the kitchen, a surly aura surrounding him as he let out another tired sigh, implying overexertion, "Welcome back, Sasuke-kun." She smiled warmly as she greeted her husband, abandoning the pancakes that she had been previously been spreading jam on to turn and face him wholly.

Sasuke gaped at the sight of the medic-nin. "Sakura…" He said slowly in what he hoped was a steady voice as he stared openly at her considerably large stomach, "What kind of calorie induced foods did you eat while I was gone?!"

A purple vein pulsed in Sakura's forehead. "You bastard!" She exclaimed, brandishing a spreading knife at him, "I'm not fat!"

"Then…" The Uchiha pointed a finger feebly at her swollen stomach, oblivious to the fetus nestled inside her womb, "Where did all of _that _come from?"

Sakura let out a distressed sigh, running her free hand through her pink tresses, "I'm not fat…" She echoed her previous statement, mood swings making a slight improvement, "I'm just…pregnant." The kunoichi admitted with a cheesy grin, "And guess who the father is!"

Sasuke's brain promptly shut down.

* * *

"...Sasuke-kun."

No response.

"...Sasuke-kun."

Still no response.

"...Sasuke-kun!"

Absolutely no response.

"WAKE UP YOU LAZY ASSHOLE!!"

Sasuke woke up startled as he felt Sakura's hand connect with his cheek, he rubbed the alabaster flesh where she had slapped him harshly, an angered expression overtaking his features. "Yes, _honey?" _Sasuke said with mock sweetness, he feigned a smile and aimed it at his scowling wife for all that he was worth.

"I need you to do some chores." Sakura informed him nonchalantly, Sasuke groaned at her words.

"But I'm tiiiired!" Sasuke moaned with half-lidded eyes and a pout shaping his lips.

Sakura cringed, "Sasuke-kun, there is a big difference between being tired and being pregnant." The ANBU member blinked a few times before his lower lip trembled slightly.

"Stop looking at me like that, now scrub the floor and wash the dishes, I'm going to bed." She told the pouting Uchiha as she stood up and started making her way to the stairs.

Resigned to his fate, Sasuke stood up and slowly turned to his wife, glaring at her back, "You suck." He informed her blatantly.

"You can do the laundry after you're done with the floor and dishes, too."

* * *

"How far in are you?" Sasuke asked her that night from beside her, utterly exhausted from all the chores she had set him to do.

"Around six months, why do you ask?" Sakura said, turning to face him, the bulge of her stomach showing through the thin material of her night-dress.

"Shit... That's too late to abort, isn't it?" He cursed, whispering various profanities under his breath, all of which were foreign to Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun!" She exclaimed, eyes wide despite her fatigue.

"Relax, I was kidding... Partly..." Her husband assured the pinkette with a strand of bright pink hair being played with in his fingers.

"Although, we do have a bigger issue..."

"What issue could be bigger than a baby?"

"It's hair colour."

"Good lord."

"So, what happens if it really does turn out to be a male with pink hair?"

Sasuke shooted her an incredulous look through the darkness, "We abort."

"I already told you, it's too late for that." She seethed through her teeth, green eyes glaring at him fiercely.

"Dammit..." The brunette cursed under his breath, turning around and closing his eyes again as he contemplated their current situation.

He spent an hour thinking about it with a finger pressed to his chin thoughtfully as he focused his remaining energy on narrowing his eyes. Sasuke could feel the soft flesh of his wife's swollen stomach jabbing him in the back as he continued to scheme.

It didn't do him any good.

_

* * *

_

Three months after...

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura said sweetly while clutching her stomach, eyebrow twitchign with the pain, Sasuke stopped sweeping the floor for a moment to see what had happened to his wife.

"Yes, honey?" The brunette asked his wife whilst wiping the thin sheet of sweat coating his brow.

"It's happening." She said plainly, staring at him passively, eyebrow twitching madly.

"What is?"

"My waters are breaking."

"Oh. Well... What do I do?"

"You call the ambulance."

"I do?"

"Yes Sasuke-kun, yes."

"..."

"...Now?"

"Yes."

* * *

"Take a deep breath." The female medic ordered Sakura with a hand softly stroking the softness of her pink head in a half-baked attempt at calming her down.

Sakura took in small, raspy breaths as the medic beside her sighed and continued to stroke her hair.

"Now," The blonde told Sakura flatly, a finger pointing towards the exit, signalling Sasuke to leave.

He didn't get the message.

"PUSH!"

Sasuke moved over to his wife's side, completely clueless as to what to do in order to help the convulsing pinkette.

And then it happened.

It was Sasuke's fault really, he didn't take the medic's warning to leave the room and when it happened he just stood there and recieved the blow like the blinking idiot that he was.

You see, when Sakura was giving birth the closest person she could find to take her rage out on was Sasuke, an in all her pain and confusion she had punched him right in the face.

And boy had it _hurt._

* * *

"Congratulations," The medic who had helped Sakura said, handing the pink-haired Uchiha a bundle of pink blankets, "It's a girl."

Sakura's eyes filled with tears as she caught sight of the beauty she and Sasuke had created, the blonde medic beside her whatched the pinkette with something akin to fondness.

"I'll just go and call Uchiha-san in, he should have recovered by now." Sakura nodded and continued to whisper sweet nothings into the ear's of her newborn, the medic smiled and left the room, leaving Sakura to her own devices.

"Sakura." The newly made mother looked up at her husband with kind eyes, she shot him a warm smile as she beckoned him over, taking note of the way he cradled the bump forming on the crown of his head with vague amusement.

"She's beautiful, isn't she." Sakura said in wonder as she and Sasuek continued to stare at their baby, both elite ninja's completely transfixed by the baby's green eyes and inky hair.

Sasuke nodded, "What will we call her?" He whispered his question into Sakura's ear, resting his hands on her shoulders he awaited her answer.

"What about Sakurako?" She asked him with her lips curling into a grin not unlike the one she had shown him when she announced her pregnancy.

Sasuke smiled back at her fondly, hands squeezing her shoulders.

And then realization dawned upon the brunette, "Sakurako? And I thought that we were naming her after me!"

They spent around two days arguing over the decision, in the end they agreed to christen their daughter with the name 'Hikari' meaning light, because she was the light that would keep them going strong for the many years to come.

* * *

_Can you say FLUFF?!_

_I have been wanting to write this for AGES_

_Byez nowziez_

_Pinky._


End file.
